Sarah Mae Week Three

Week Three Assignment

I am finding myself overwhelmed and frozen by the speed at which our wiki rhythm is increasing so I have decided to tear this assignment up into chunks and approach it one small bite at a time. To that end, I lead off my writing here with a quote from a fellow traveler:

"And then comes that blessing disguised as a curse. When I encounter some obstacle on my path which will not succomb to my toolkit."

- Brian aka Anonymous

This struck me as particularly profound. Especially since I felt like I was at the bottom of a very large mountain without a rope as I looked at the wiki and wondered how in the world I would be able to "conquer" it. As I read Brians "rat in a cage" blog, his words reminded me that although I may not have the tool I need (curse), but I am capable of finding a new one (blessing). For instance, in the words of a classmate, or perhaps just finding a new sense of calm during the time I spend reading them. Thank you Brian.

"According to the popular image of science, everything is, in principle, predictable and controllable; and if some event or process is not predictable and controllable in the present state of your knowledge, a little more knowledge and, especially, a little more know-how will enable us to predict and control the wild variables."

- Gregory Bateson, Mind and Matter

And so, my journey continues with words as muse. This quote echoes for me the understanding that I have gained as I have lived my life that regardless of the order we try to imbue our lives with, there is an inherant randomness to it all. Not everything in life is predictable and, just like our last session together, we all spend a fair amount of time getting caught up in the wild tangents it brings. I have learned that this is not necessarily a bad thing. If we can accept that the digressions are a part of our journey and learn from what we experience when it occurs then it is a worthwhile endeavor.

I have found that continuing to struggle against the seemingly random events in our lives wastes the energy we need to move forward in the journey itself. Accepting them seems to embolden us and renew our energy. It is an interesting paradigm but it is not for the faint hearted. It takes great strength (which admittedly I do not always possess) to sit quietly as life swirls around you threatening to impale you with its randomness. But, I have found, if I can manage to sit very still and listen I gain the insight that I need to rise up and move on. It is not an easy task but if I can elicit enough strength to be still (which goes against my nature as I would definately prefer to take action) I usually find myself being propelled forward depsite the temporary digression.

Edited by Caitlin: I was actually just thinking about this while I was responding to Kevin's post about Biosphere II. I'm a pretty strong believer in the necessity of quality social interaction when it comes to maintaining good mental and spiritual health (and I suppose, from an immunological point of view, physical health). It's been my observation that people who a) hate people, b) find people intensely frustrating, or c) idealize a life of isolation, are very into controlling their environments, and that includes controlling their interactions with other people. I understand this mindset - the world is ultimately a very unpredictable place, and people - despite age-old arguments about free will and determinism and nature vs. nurture - are pretty damn unpredictable. I think this freaks a lot of people out, and that things like rituals, restrictive social mores and small, tight-knit communities are ways people fight against this unpredictability.

As understandable as I may find it, though, I don't think it's the best way to go through life. At least, it's not for me. Like you said, you end up expending so much energy trying to force the world to fit your expectations that you just end up exhausted, cranky and disappointed all the time. It's far better to take the world as it is, and deal with it as it is, and sometimes find yourself freaked out or uncomfortable or bored, than to spending your life spinning around in what is ultimately a great big Hamster Wheel to Nowhere.

I guess if I had to produce a nugget of wisdom from my near three decades of life experience, it would be pretty much what you said - that unpredictability is not only a part of life, it's what makes life so fantastic. Otherwise, how boring would it be if everything always conformed to our expectations? How dull would it be if the world was limited by the constraints of our own piddly imaginations? Not to get all Zen Buddhist or whatever, but the image of a leaf in a stream is absolutely appropriate here. (But not a feather on the wind. I liked Forrest Gump when I was a kid, but the last time I saw it I found it cloying, overly sentimental and pretty disgusting in its portrayal of the two main female characters. But again, I digress. :) )

So, with that said, I think the group silence this week (it seems to have been very quiet here on the wiki) will prove to be a good thing as we have all taken time to contemplate where we are and where we might like to go. It's all a part of the journey.

Week Three Blogs

Blog 1: 1-24-07 It was a really interesting rhythm full of sights and sounds today in the seminar. I found it fascinating that what I had initially considered a failure to complete the freesound assignment somehow turned into a thinking outside the box "triumph." It still makes me smile. Here I was thinking that it was a last ditch effort to meet an expectation and everyone else (ok ... probably not everyone) just thought it was innovative. Too funny and very reflective of how we, as participants in structured academia, need to remain open to the possiblities - both in school and in life. It is certainly always interesting.

For instance, as I was reading through the blogs after class today I was very touched to read in Crystal's blog that she thinks that I write beautifully and exhibit a strength she wishes her own Mom had. I am honored - truly. It is not an easy journey (or role) to be "the Mom" in the room - so,her comments are greatly appreciated. Thanks also to Cory for his note on my blog I appreciate his efforts to clarify his comments. Please read my response to his comments by clicking: here I felt it was best to keep them "in the room" by posting them on our shared space since I chose not participate in the discussion during class today. For me it was important to hear how the group reacted to him posting the thoughts and feelings on the wiki that I had overheard and taken personally last week.

It was an interesting exchange filled with alternating bright and dark hues as the ryhthm beat itself out for us. Thank you to everyone who participated in the discussion. Negotiating conflict is a growing edge for me so I appreciated the raw essence that everyone brought to it and the opportunity to take it all in. I am psyched about this class and think everyone has something great to contribute. I think it will be really exciting as we continue to work together to write, dialog and create our wiki together. Too cool.

Blog 2: 1-24-07 Open this link in a tab Oblique Stratgies and your blog in another and use the suggestion on the card to write. Then pick another and another...try it - it will definately loosen you up!

Blog 3: 1-31-07 Well, it has been an interesting week of trying to find the strength to continue to write through the blind panic I was feeling about the tasks at hand. Fortunately, by reading other blogs and conversing with Trey I have managed to squeeze out some words to share (see my link on the mixmasterblog page or click on assignment three above.) My thanks to Brian for sharing his insights. They were my muse. I must give a shout out to Cystal as well! - check it out at: AMD's Blog 2 I like it, I really, really like it.